Bad Night (A very whiny post)

Yesterday was one of the worst I've had in this pregnancy, I think.
I had my 'usual' nausea during the day, but it lasted from the time I woke up until about 3:30. I ate some breakfast anyway but it wasn't good and I just felt sick. When the nausea finally waned in the midafternoon, I ate some toast and then nibbled on a few pretzels. I was working my way through that second snack when Brian called around 4:15 to say he was on his way home but had to stop to run an errand, so he'd be home by 5:30. Somewhere in that following hour, all heck broke loose.
First I got horribly nauseated again.
I am pretty sure the lack of actual throwing up was sheer force of will on my part and even then it was a very near thing. Then the pain started. I believe it is just the cyst I was dealing with a few weeks ago. It seems to be in the same spot and is the same quality of pain, though it was much more intense last night. Then I was so so incredibly tired out of nowhere.
When Brian got home I was like, barely coherent. I told him I was sick and hurting and he said my hand felt like it was burning up, and asked if it was 'different', and did he need to call the doctor. Since I wasn't bleeding I said no.
He got dinner for himself and Kian and that was awesome. Somewhere in there one of the dogs had an accident and he dealt with that too, which was good because apparently by that point I was hurting enough that I was slurring my words. I was pale but my cheeks were red and my eyes looked a little funny. Brian asked at least 2 more times if he needed to call anyone or take me to the hospital.
Please realize that when I unraveled a nerve in my arm and it didn't work FOR A MONTH he was irritated at taking me to the ER, and when Kian had an adverse reaction to albuterol at 2 months he was annoyed at being stuck in the ER for 5 hours. So this must have been pretty bad.
By 7 I could take Tylenol again (because earlier in the afternoon I dumbly took some for a headache that must have been the precursor to all this), and that really helped. I am not certain I actually had a fever, but it brought my body temp down and took the edge off the pain.
I finally ate some crackers (in bed) at 9 o'clock, and that was the end of the nausea. I hurt enough to not sleep well after that though.
On the very bright side, today I am hungry and so far without nausea at all. It still hurts but it's totally bearable and I haven't even taken anything for it. I am, of course, exhausted from not sleeping but when Kian naps so will I.
So a long, whiny post from me! But I wanted to record it in case it happens again, so I can hopefully compare some or at least have a note of the date. And now you know why I will probably ignore you if you call today. If I am resting all the ringers are going off! :)

Week 9: February 17-23

9 week old fetus

From TheBump.com (who is using 'she' for this post, and I'm to lazy to change it to she/he. Not an indication of what I want or think Sprout is or anything)

• This is a milestone. She's no longer an embryo -- now she's a fetus!
• She's developing more distinct facial features.
• And she might now have a strong enough heartbeat to be picked up by a fetal doppler.
• She's gaining steam! At 9 weeks, your baby measures around .9 inches and weighs about .07 ounces.

So I have realized that I am doing these updates weirdly. Like, I am trying to post at the beginning of week 10 (though in this case I am a few days late), and post about week 9. But by the time I post, the baby isn't 9 week size/development anymore because all of the info talks about how the baby is at the beginning of Week X. I didn't really talk about development stuff last time, and to be perfectly honest I feel like my brain is full of oatmeal today so maybe this isn't the best time to be trying to figure this out. If you have any thoughts on whether I should be posting the 'start of week 10' info with my week 9 update, or the 'start of week 9' info with it, let me know! Maybe I'll change it next week.

But for now! At the end of the week, I have gained 1-2 pounds. That's what less vomiting'll do for you. So now I am -2 or -1 compared to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Symptoms: Fatigue is still a big one. I could sleep all day every day, and sometimes if I lay down to read I wake up thirty minutes later. Of course, I am still not sleeping soundly even at night. It's like this light, restless sleep that wants to happen all the time. I feel like it's sort of like the Fight Club insomnia thing. Never really asleep but never really awake. It is not as cool as Ed Norton and Brad Pitt make it seem :).
The nausea is getting better all the time. It's pretty common for me to feel icky between like 9am and 2pm, but breakfast and dinner are easier. Some days there's no nausea at all! And then I think, "Am I done? Maybe it's gone!" Only to feel awful the next day. No more getting my hopes up.
Ligament pain is a constant thing. Twice this week I have sneezed and it hurt nearly badly enough to make my cry. But I am a wimp! There's all sorts of weird stretching and growing going on down there.
Pregnant brain is such a real thing for me. I am always forgetful but now it's way worse. And I can't focus, or think of words, or type. And I forget things like... I fill the washing machine with clothes and detergent and dial the setting but don't his start. Or Brian asks me to make a phone call and I rack my brain all day and can't remember what it is. It's frustrating. See comment about my brain being filled with oatmeal, above.

Events: We went to a party at the house of one of the guys Brian was working with (he just transferred to a different area) last Sunday, where I chowed down on all kinds of food! Including the best ribs I have ever eaten. Brian was super helpful with Kian so I was mostly able to just sit and talk, which was nice.

I feel like this week passed in a haze of exhaustion and pregnant brain (it's a real thing). Kian had his big field trip last Wednesday and no school for the rest of the week, so we just took it easy. I feel like I have nothing to report!

I guess the biggest weird thing I am experiencing is my mental state. I am showing more all the time and I feel like crap so much of the time, but it still doesn't quite feel... real. Like in the end I'll have a baby. What? The novelty of the situation has worn off and I am not feeling well, but the end is so far down the road, it's like I'm in a weird miserable limbo state.

Brian continues to tell  me he thinks my first trimester with Kian was worse. I think some of the smell sensitivity was worse, but I know I didn't actually throw up nearly as much. I slept a lot but it seemed somehow easier, and I am sure there wasn't this level of ligament (or whatever) pain at this stage. We were talking about it and I decided the difference was that we didn't have Kian then. So I was the Pregnant Princess and it was all about me! So I whined when I didn't feel well and I slept when I wanted, and hardly got off the couch when Brian came home. He didn't have a 4 year old to entertain so he did a lot more cooking and laundry and helping out around the house, where now he feels like 'entertaining Kian is enough helping' (his words not mine) or 'all he has energy for'. So I think it's less that this time is easier and more that I  expected/anticipated the discomfort, I don't tell him as much when I feel rotten, and I know that if I don't do stuff it's not getting done. Kian needs to eat. He needs clean clothes. He needs to be watched and entertained and taught and taken to and from school. He needs a bath. And all these things are my job and mine alone. So I suck it up and get it done, and I try to maintain the rest of my jobs as well. Brian agrees that's probably true, and then thanked me for not whining (though not for doing more around the house necessarily).

So I think that sums it up. Sick, tired, hurting, brain dead, but trying to suck it up. And looking forward to the second trimester and feeling the baby kick and all the things that made me love being pregnant last time. It's coming, right?

Ultrasound #1 - February 17, 2012

If you click on these pictures, you will see a larger version.

Today was rainy and cool. We've had an unseasonably warm winter, and today we finally had a day that felt like February. Hooray for wearing a snuggly sweater and going to Mimi's Cafe for French onion soup before our appointment! Brian left work to do lunch with us and we brought Kian with us to the appointment.

We arrived a little early, but they were in a meeting so we didn't actually go back until about 1:10. At that point it all went really quickly because they took us straight into a sonogram room and the tech wasted no time in getting started. It was cool because there was the ultrasound unit but also a big TV on the wall, so Brian could sit in a chair with Kian and still see what was going on.

I got all settled on the bed and she said, "You're about 9 weeks along? Is this because the doctor thinks you are less than that?" My first clue that maybe I am not as huge as I think I am. To be fair, I was laying on my back at that point!

The tech was really good and found the Sprout with no problem. Even I could see right away where the head was, where the rump side was, and that there was clearly only one baby in there. Cue a rush of relief mixed with maybe a tiny bit of disappointment. I prepared myself too well! But then I could see the little heart fluttering away and I teared up and reached for Brian's hand. She pointed things out even though the view was  so good there really wasn't any need. The measurement showed Sprout to be 9 weeks, 1 day where my count had me at the day before 9 weeks. So I've adjusted things to compromise and made Friday my week switch over day (so the due date is Sept 21). Not that these things /really/ matter except to help me think about them. As Brian said, "So... now the due date is still late August?" Pretty much.

She also checked my ovaries and said there is indeed at least one cyst on my left ovary. I haven't had any pain at in that area for a few days, but it's kind of nice to know that there is one on there, that I  might have more discomfort from it but it probably will not be anything to worry about. And that it wasn't just gas pain or ligament pain when I was insisting it was sharper, different, and more intense. Knowledge is good!

She could also see the corpus luteum graviditatis on that side, which she implied meant that the egg came from that ovary. I am not totally sure how accurate that is (as in, I'm not sure both sides don't have one - need to do some more research) but if that is true, that's kind of cool to know.

Brian took the ultrasound snapshots to work or I would have posted them yesterday. He's like a kid with a cookie! After coming home last night, he did admit that he felt "a little cheated" because he was all ready for twins too. I admitted that there were some things about the prospect that seemed like they would be fun. But I had focused too much on the lack of sleep when Kian was newborn, not to mention the logistics of space and a second crib, and the additional expense, and needing an extra bedroom unless they were same sex as they got older and and and *pant*.

So mostly I felt relieved. And glad to meet Sprout and see that there really is a healthy little baby with a strong heartbeat in there. Brian grabbed the pictures and said, "Honey! There is a human being in there!" with a big grin. Pretty much! It makes it all much more real.

I talked to Kian ahead of time about what we would see, and he seemed to enjoy it though I'm not totally sure how much he really understood. He was very upset that Brian took the pictures with him and has asked to see them a ton since Brian brought them home. He calls Sprout "my baby" and asks to see "the pictures of  my baby". So adorable. I guess My Baby is better than 'beezee' which is what he was suggesting we should name the baby earlier in the week. XD

Week 8: February 9-16

Fetus at 8 weeks

From MedicineNet.com (the picture is from this article as well):
The baby is now about the size of a grape - almost an inch in size. Eyelids and ears are forming and even the tip of the nose is visible. The arms and legs are well formed. The fingers and toes grow longer and more distinct.

My weight: Still -3 lbs in spite of the visible bump and my uterus being larger than usual at this stage. Nausea, I guess!

Since I did a mid-week post and the ultrasound changed my due date a little, this post will be pretty brief!
My goal is to do a recap like this once a week regardless of other midweek posts. Reading back over the blog when I was pregnant with Kian I really like the recaps. And as much as I thought "OMG I was crazy to post my weight the whole time," it's kind of nice to be able to see it and possibly compare. So for now, I'll be tracking that too. Yikes.

2/17/12 - end of 8 weeks

2/17/12 - bare belly end of 8 weeks

This was truly a week of ups and downs. The cyst pain diminished considerably but I started having more general ligament pain. It is hard to articulate but the difference in the sensation is very obvious. On Thursday, the phone rang while I was laying down and I rolled over to get it and the sudden pain was enough to bring pain to my eyes. Even though it's not every time I bend or stretch or roll over I am trying to be more careful now.

I continue to crave fruit but have added salty things back into the mix. Pickles are fantastic right now (no, not with ice cream) because they are crunchy and juicy but also sour and salty! What a great invention. I am still experiencing some nausea but it's a lot less frequent and seems to happen mainly in the morning and anytime I let myself get hungry - so snacks are good! Other than that, smells are getting more and more pronounced and it's starting to affect my sense of taste a little. This is hard to explain too though I remember it from last time. Some things just don't taste quite like I expect them too, and I am pretty sensitive to salt. So even though I want salty things they can't be too salty. And I want fruit, but some of it tastes like the refrigerator and then it isn't good. Don't ask. Yes, in other words I am a totally picky pain in the butt. At least I am buying, fixing, getting my own food so it's not like this whole thing is bothering anyone else.
Other symptoms: Occasional headaches, peeing all the time, tons of fatigue and insomnia. The insomnia started in earnest this week, leaving me awake in bed for half the night. I told Brian I think maybe it's my body reminding me that four hours of sleep is plenty, in preparation for the Sprout's arrival. Oof.

After our appointment on Monday, I spent a lot of time first worrying about and then trying to prepare myself for the possibility of twins. I am going to do a post with ultrasound info next, but suffice it to say that was a big waste of time :). I also did some web surfing for other pregnancy blogs and things, which is fun. I should have been working on organizing stuff (since I have tubs of clothes and bags to go to Goodwill in my room from last weekend) but the fatigue is killer. I admire all of you pregnancy buddies of mine who are working full time! I have no clue how you do it.

2/12/12 New "pointy hair"

Kian had his Valentine's Day party at school and had a great time. I got him a Valentine's sock monkey that talks and he loves it and cracks up at everything it says.

Kian quote of the week:
After eating a huge lunch, I asked him if he was going to explode. He looked at me with very serious, big eyes and said:

2/12/12

"If I exploded, my body would go *kaboom sound effects* and there would be goo and blood everywhere! My skin would come off and you would see down to my bones, and I would probably be dead. So no, I am not going to explode." Right!

Pregnancy Week 8 (Feb 11-17 2012): Showing Already?

8.5 weeks - 2/15/12

Over the weekend my belly officially started popping out. On Friday (2/10), one day before 8 weeks along, I decided my normal jeans were finished. My belly was already starting to curve but beyond that I was just so uncomfortable. Brian dragged my bin of maternity clothes out of the attic, and even though I thought my butt was going to be too big, all the early stuff fit! We also went to Ross and got a pair of yoga pants and an extra pair of jeans. Sweet relief.

Speaking of relief, every time I think I am getting some I end up being mistaken. Reading back over this blog I see that B is right and I did suffer from a lot of nausea last time too. I keep feeling like it was only the first few weeks and then it was really intermittent, but maybe I am wrong! It's that thing where your memories are all rosy and happy so that you'll go through this whole pregnancy thing again. So this time I have been dealing with major fatigue and nausea, and more vomiting than last time. Any time I get even a little hungry? Nauseous. Lots of smells, sometimes just the thought of food - nauseous. And of course in the morning, and sometimes all day, and even sometimes after I feel fine and eat and get happy and full and then... nauseous. I am looking forward to the second trimester.

Comparison photo - 12 weeks along last time

Which might be sooner than I thought! Like I said, this week I've already started showing quite a bit. The picture posted here (from today 2/15 - 8.5 weeks) is early morning before breakfast, so it's as small as I get. Food/bloating/evening all makes it more pronounced. Come to find out, it's not just my opinion! We had our first OB exam on Monday and he agrees that my uterus is high/large. So there's an ultrasound scheduled for Friday to determine exactly why that is. Could be that I am further along than I think, that things didn't shrink all the way down after Kian, or of course the big doozy that it could be twins. I am not going to freak out until we know for sure, but really anything but the not shrinking version would have its share of difficulties. I know we'll get through anything though!

On the plus side, the cyst/ligament pain is almost completely gone now, other than an occasional little twinge and I am having more good periods and even whole good days with more energy and less stomach upset. We've started chatting about names a little, though B doesn't want to get down to the nitty gritty until we know if it's a boy or a girl.

Kian is very excited and is already telling people he is a big brother. He talks daily about the baby and things he will teach him/her when it arrives. He wants a baby girl and has asked for butterfly wings and a sparkly pink headband if it is a girl. Of course he also asks for two babies (I want TWINS) several times, so hopefully he understands he may not get what he wants.

He is getting so big! We went to get his hair cut this weekend and he requested 'pointy hair' so I have been styling it with a little bit of product since then. It's a big hit but he looks like he's about 8 years old! I get that twinge of 'my baby is getting so grown up!' and then I think again that the timing of this pregnancy is good.

Ultrasound pics in a few days!

Bad Blogger, Take Two!

Well obviously it has been /years/ since I have updated this blog. To some extent Facebook and it's short updates took the place of these longer entries, since things got very busy with a growing boy and then a toddler.

Well, I've decided that FB just isn't permanent enough for some things, and though the internet might not be forever either, this is at least better in some ways. I have been journaling on paper for the last few weeks, but am going to try to update this at least once a week too.

So here goes, a first post for my second pregnancy.

I am about 7 and a half weeks along and we have known for 2 weeks (yesterday). So far it seems a lot harder than it did last time around. The morning - I wish it was only in the morning - sickness is persistent and I am sooooo tired all the time. The last few days I have also had some pretty major pain, which thankfully the doctor thinks is just a cyst or even possibly some ligament stretching stuff. It is pretty difficult to be mobile at all, but as long as B stays supportive I know we'll get through it!

I can already see changes in my body which is crazy to me. I am not even sure we /knew/ when I was this far along with Kian.

Our first OB appt is Monday, so I will plan to post updates about all the fun things then. And probably I will make an announcement on FB then too, so people can actually come read this blog. :)